Okay, so its been a while since I've updated here.
Recently in my life, I have finished taking classes over the spring towards my A+ certification, and will study and hopefully take this summer or fall. As long that goes well, I will hopefully be making better money at a better job.
On a side note, today is Memorial Day. I have the day off and just got done BS'ing with the roommates, and making some jambalaya, mmm mmm good. I got some cleaning done too, and later on plan on getting some writing done also.
All in all, things are going all right. Posts of more important and substance shall follow in the future.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
creative talent
This blog entry is for anyone looking for something interesting to read. being an aspiring amateur writer, I have several works in progress all published on several sites for writers. I hate to admit it but I am badly in need of feedback, comments or critique in any form for some of my work.
Just to give you a taste of what I can come up with, I am providing you with a prologue that I have come up with for a thriller titled "The Dopppleganger Chronicles" I hope you enjoy reading it, and will post links to my profile pages on DeviantArt, and FictionPress, if you are interested in reading some of my other work, fiction or poetry.
http://www.fictionpress.com/~realityreaper
http://whiplashnemy.deviantart.com
The Doppleganger Chronicles (prelude)
Fear. A primal thing, since our days as cavemen. Back the man embraced his fear with full force and ran into it headfirst. Now adays…….fear…fear is something that sits in our stomach, lying there smoldering, bubbling and consuming, and then clawing our eyes out because Fear knows we have forgotten it, and when it comes back around it reminds us with a sledgehammer. Of course for fear to truly take hold of man in this day and age, requires something truly horrific which only the most greedy of newscasters can put up on the 5’oclock news. But even those sad excuses can not elaborate fears meaning in todays world. Fear along with his brother Horror, they come when you see a mass murderer or a bombing, or some serial killer who has decided to visit your postal code with his sick version of pleasure.
Yes, fear was exactly what John Brankston was feeling at this moment. Eyes glued to screens for the past week had shown him wondrous things, unimaginable things, and even horrifying things. Yet, wasn’t what they had all wanted in the beginning? To create something terrible, out of something beautiful? And indeed they had. From man’s deepest inner sanctums, they had inserted a needle, and taken out that core, the essence of what somebody would be without inhibitions. We have made them fearless John Brankston thought to himself. We have taken away all inhibitions, so that they do not think about what they do. The only thing that mattered was accomplishing the mission. And after that they would resume their normal lives, not caring, or maybe not remembering the acts they had committed in their service. For in the beginning that was what the Army had wanted. And they got what they wanted.
A soldier who lived only to accomplish his mission no matter what. The human psyche can only be pushed so far in times of duress and battle, and after certain amounts of time might begin to question what they were doing. After those thoughts set in, it would only be a matter of time before performance began to slip. “give us a means of allowing a soldier to endure for infinite amounts of time, in any circumstances, performing any action required without hesitation.” The brass had said, and they would be set for the rest of their lives.
After trial and error, and many long months, something was achieved. One of the soldiers in the program for testing was found to have been able to meet all the requirements made at the beginning. At first the soldier had looked the same as all the rest, maybe even less qualified, but then a distinct change came over him as things got unbearable, and he looked as though he was fresh out of the shower ready to roll again. He passed everything with flying colors. Afterwards during debriefing it was determined that the soldier had multiple personalities. The soldiers’ alter ego, in a very literal sense had allowed him to go beyond normal human capacities, and given Mr Brankston, and colleagues exactly what they were looking for.
Of course obtaining from the soldier what they needed and achieving the end result was no easy task. Thanks to the latest advancements in the medical field and the backing of good ole Uncle Sam however, they were able to take baby steps, now that they knew what they needed. The first step was talking to the soldiers’ alter ego, who went by the name of Trent, and then running some tests on Trent, his brainwaves, chemical levels, and so on to see exactly what conditions existed in the human body when a psyche such as this was in control. After that it got difficult for a bit. Trying to figure out how to simulate and then recreate at a moments notice in any number of bodies was a very tough task indeed. And who was to say that Trent wasn’t a unique case? That with similar levels in someone else might elicit an entirely different reaction.
And then a major breakthrough was achieved. While viewing the chemicals in Trents body right before and after his psyche changed a new hormone was detected. It was labeled AXL-1 and it was the key. Once they obtained the AXL-1 they were able to reproduce it, and make serums for testing. That’s when things started to get hairy.
Just to give you a taste of what I can come up with, I am providing you with a prologue that I have come up with for a thriller titled "The Dopppleganger Chronicles" I hope you enjoy reading it, and will post links to my profile pages on DeviantArt, and FictionPress, if you are interested in reading some of my other work, fiction or poetry.
http://www.fictionpress.com/~realityreaper
http://whiplashnemy.deviantart.com
The Doppleganger Chronicles (prelude)
Fear. A primal thing, since our days as cavemen. Back the man embraced his fear with full force and ran into it headfirst. Now adays…….fear…fear is something that sits in our stomach, lying there smoldering, bubbling and consuming, and then clawing our eyes out because Fear knows we have forgotten it, and when it comes back around it reminds us with a sledgehammer. Of course for fear to truly take hold of man in this day and age, requires something truly horrific which only the most greedy of newscasters can put up on the 5’oclock news. But even those sad excuses can not elaborate fears meaning in todays world. Fear along with his brother Horror, they come when you see a mass murderer or a bombing, or some serial killer who has decided to visit your postal code with his sick version of pleasure.
Yes, fear was exactly what John Brankston was feeling at this moment. Eyes glued to screens for the past week had shown him wondrous things, unimaginable things, and even horrifying things. Yet, wasn’t what they had all wanted in the beginning? To create something terrible, out of something beautiful? And indeed they had. From man’s deepest inner sanctums, they had inserted a needle, and taken out that core, the essence of what somebody would be without inhibitions. We have made them fearless John Brankston thought to himself. We have taken away all inhibitions, so that they do not think about what they do. The only thing that mattered was accomplishing the mission. And after that they would resume their normal lives, not caring, or maybe not remembering the acts they had committed in their service. For in the beginning that was what the Army had wanted. And they got what they wanted.
A soldier who lived only to accomplish his mission no matter what. The human psyche can only be pushed so far in times of duress and battle, and after certain amounts of time might begin to question what they were doing. After those thoughts set in, it would only be a matter of time before performance began to slip. “give us a means of allowing a soldier to endure for infinite amounts of time, in any circumstances, performing any action required without hesitation.” The brass had said, and they would be set for the rest of their lives.
After trial and error, and many long months, something was achieved. One of the soldiers in the program for testing was found to have been able to meet all the requirements made at the beginning. At first the soldier had looked the same as all the rest, maybe even less qualified, but then a distinct change came over him as things got unbearable, and he looked as though he was fresh out of the shower ready to roll again. He passed everything with flying colors. Afterwards during debriefing it was determined that the soldier had multiple personalities. The soldiers’ alter ego, in a very literal sense had allowed him to go beyond normal human capacities, and given Mr Brankston, and colleagues exactly what they were looking for.
Of course obtaining from the soldier what they needed and achieving the end result was no easy task. Thanks to the latest advancements in the medical field and the backing of good ole Uncle Sam however, they were able to take baby steps, now that they knew what they needed. The first step was talking to the soldiers’ alter ego, who went by the name of Trent, and then running some tests on Trent, his brainwaves, chemical levels, and so on to see exactly what conditions existed in the human body when a psyche such as this was in control. After that it got difficult for a bit. Trying to figure out how to simulate and then recreate at a moments notice in any number of bodies was a very tough task indeed. And who was to say that Trent wasn’t a unique case? That with similar levels in someone else might elicit an entirely different reaction.
And then a major breakthrough was achieved. While viewing the chemicals in Trents body right before and after his psyche changed a new hormone was detected. It was labeled AXL-1 and it was the key. Once they obtained the AXL-1 they were able to reproduce it, and make serums for testing. That’s when things started to get hairy.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Quiznos "Torpedo" Sucks
why? becuase they are misleading thats why. or rather Quiznos subs has this promotion going on for their "Torpedo" sub, for 4 bucks. now in tough times that not to bad, especially in the sub business, when they have to compete with Subway's 5$ footlongs.
so i stop in at a Quiznos and decide to give it a try, i ask the sandwich guy how they are selling. "like hotcakes" he replies. he then proceeds to call out to a co-worker for the torpedo subs which are 13 inches long. and then my eyes bulge, for these subs are not even as thick as two fingers put side by side. what a joke. i was seriously tempted to find a Subway and get my extra dollars worth, but i decided to give it a try anyway. to give Quiznos credit the sub is packed with meat. oh yea the sub i chose was the italian bmt, and they had 5 other choices. but even if such a small package comes with big taste, which it had a moderate amount of, the entire fact that the sub roll was that small, immediately made me dislike the "Torpedo" so next time i want a good portion of food for around 5 bucks, im getting a footlong from subway.
so i stop in at a Quiznos and decide to give it a try, i ask the sandwich guy how they are selling. "like hotcakes" he replies. he then proceeds to call out to a co-worker for the torpedo subs which are 13 inches long. and then my eyes bulge, for these subs are not even as thick as two fingers put side by side. what a joke. i was seriously tempted to find a Subway and get my extra dollars worth, but i decided to give it a try anyway. to give Quiznos credit the sub is packed with meat. oh yea the sub i chose was the italian bmt, and they had 5 other choices. but even if such a small package comes with big taste, which it had a moderate amount of, the entire fact that the sub roll was that small, immediately made me dislike the "Torpedo" so next time i want a good portion of food for around 5 bucks, im getting a footlong from subway.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
meh, to you normality
so it seems as though the rest of the world is coming to a realization that i have been aware of for quite some time. and its the fact that normality sucks big time, or at least enough for us to crave some "not normal" thing happening in our lives.
see we love going and seeing movies about documentaries of students getting haunted in the woods, or "Real Life" "Based Upon A True Story" movies about some poor sap, usually a girl getting possessed by some good old evil spirit, Satan included.
please give me a break, stop lying about the supposed "true story" aspect of it. if all those things were real, or rather based upon real events they would have made national headlines, or at least the local news at 10.
my understanding of the whole thing is this. we are bored with our daily lives, and we hate the monotony and day to day repetition. so we get all googely eyed about "hauntings", "possessions", "mutant or superhero powers" and we flock to go see a world that seems to be within our grasp but never was in the first place.
do those things exist? yes. can i prove they do? not really, but if you pay attention to all the stories, about anything relating to paranormal activity see how far back it goes, and how detailed it really is.
see we love going and seeing movies about documentaries of students getting haunted in the woods, or "Real Life" "Based Upon A True Story" movies about some poor sap, usually a girl getting possessed by some good old evil spirit, Satan included.
please give me a break, stop lying about the supposed "true story" aspect of it. if all those things were real, or rather based upon real events they would have made national headlines, or at least the local news at 10.
my understanding of the whole thing is this. we are bored with our daily lives, and we hate the monotony and day to day repetition. so we get all googely eyed about "hauntings", "possessions", "mutant or superhero powers" and we flock to go see a world that seems to be within our grasp but never was in the first place.
do those things exist? yes. can i prove they do? not really, but if you pay attention to all the stories, about anything relating to paranormal activity see how far back it goes, and how detailed it really is.
Monday, March 23, 2009
ok internet
so whats the deal? i thought you were supposed to be useful. ya know like when i want to see if somebody i know is on the web somewhere, i should be able to put in their first middle and last and you should show me pages upon pages of dirt for them.
uumm no. see i've tried getting in touch with a certain ex of mine, who also happens to be the mother of my son. and i can put in both of their full names, and not come up with shit. thats bullshit.
anyone have any ideas on why the great big bad web is failing me? i would love the input. and i doubt shes trying to stay off the radar, she wouldnt be able to with wellfare, child expenses and whatnot. very aggravating this is.
uumm no. see i've tried getting in touch with a certain ex of mine, who also happens to be the mother of my son. and i can put in both of their full names, and not come up with shit. thats bullshit.
anyone have any ideas on why the great big bad web is failing me? i would love the input. and i doubt shes trying to stay off the radar, she wouldnt be able to with wellfare, child expenses and whatnot. very aggravating this is.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
exercise is good
last night was sat night, after i dropped off my daughter i headed over to a friends house to exercise and "work out"
it wasnt too bad, we stretched, limbered up and did push ups and a bit of sparring, but no heavy working out with weights like the last time i worked out with em. after that we went jogging. started off with a 1/4 mile run to the local HS, and then their we started at the track, and their intent was to do 20 laps, with i guess equals out to 8 miles.
heh, they were gonna let me off at 5 or 6 miles, but to be perfectly honest, i am out of shape. i was able to get a grand total of 7 or 8 laps out (i dont remember exactly what it was). which means i did between a mil to a 1 1/2 miles. im cool with that. their intent was to do it nonstop the entire 20 laps for an 1 1/2 hours. during my measly 7 or so laps i stopped several times and then ran and caught up again. soo yea i need to get in shape. my current weight in only boxers is 213 lbs. i told myself i would never allow my out of shapeness to get that far and 200 was the line.
on an entire side note to working out, one of my friends recommended how to eat healthy and cheap; rice, chicken, tuna, salad, and some other stuff. he's totally on top of how many calories he eats a day, and all that. i dunno if im ready to go that far yet, but my community college is less than 5 mins away, i think i can drag myself up their late one night to jog the track, and try and push myself.
it wasnt too bad, we stretched, limbered up and did push ups and a bit of sparring, but no heavy working out with weights like the last time i worked out with em. after that we went jogging. started off with a 1/4 mile run to the local HS, and then their we started at the track, and their intent was to do 20 laps, with i guess equals out to 8 miles.
heh, they were gonna let me off at 5 or 6 miles, but to be perfectly honest, i am out of shape. i was able to get a grand total of 7 or 8 laps out (i dont remember exactly what it was). which means i did between a mil to a 1 1/2 miles. im cool with that. their intent was to do it nonstop the entire 20 laps for an 1 1/2 hours. during my measly 7 or so laps i stopped several times and then ran and caught up again. soo yea i need to get in shape. my current weight in only boxers is 213 lbs. i told myself i would never allow my out of shapeness to get that far and 200 was the line.
on an entire side note to working out, one of my friends recommended how to eat healthy and cheap; rice, chicken, tuna, salad, and some other stuff. he's totally on top of how many calories he eats a day, and all that. i dunno if im ready to go that far yet, but my community college is less than 5 mins away, i think i can drag myself up their late one night to jog the track, and try and push myself.
Friday, March 13, 2009
aarrg disaster
*note to self* drinking coffee after a night of boozing, and then having coffee on an empty stomach is a badbadbad thing.
i should be studying
ok i have no idea why im doing this right now, i should be studying for my class i have at noon which includes my first test in it. to be blunt ive been putting it off all week, and got up at 7 for some last min crunch time along with rocket fuel.
yea so the internet is addicting, kind of evil, because of its addictiveness. you go on a site, you get hooked and then its hard to drag yourself away from it.
or at least thats my problem cuz i lead a boring life.
for instance dating sites. im single, havent been laid in 2 years, so im always checking out who lives within a resonable distance from my house, and shares the same interests. you message them and 95% of the time you dont get a message back. sooo annoying.
yea so the internet is addicting, kind of evil, because of its addictiveness. you go on a site, you get hooked and then its hard to drag yourself away from it.
or at least thats my problem cuz i lead a boring life.
for instance dating sites. im single, havent been laid in 2 years, so im always checking out who lives within a resonable distance from my house, and shares the same interests. you message them and 95% of the time you dont get a message back. sooo annoying.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
my personality type
Your result for The LONG Scientific Personality Test...
ENTJ - Commandant
You scored 64% I to E, 26% N to S, 62% F to T, and 42% J to P!
The single word to describe your type is fieldmarshal or commandant. You also belong to the larger group called rationals. You love to organize others in matters of logic. Even as a child, you likely naturally assumed the role of leader in groups. You share your personality type with 2% of the population. When you lead, you are more concerned with policy and goals than rules and regulations. You have a tendency to become a workaholic. You are impatient with repetition of error. You are friendly and outgoing, though. You don't mince words and willingly share your many strong opinions.
As a romantic partner, you are inspiring, but also somewhat challenging. You have a strong desire to be in charge and your clear need for an organized life and home can be overwelming to a partner. You like to confront conflict directly, discuss problems unflinchingly, solve them, then put them behind you. However, you can be too impatient or unwilling to take the time to listen to your partner and give them a chance to express themselves fully so that they also have a sense of closure. You are generally uncomfortable dealing with emotions, so you are apt to dismiss your partner's emotions as illogical. You feel most appreciated when your partner asks for your opinions, takes your adivce, and relies on you to get a job done right.
Your group summary: rationals (NT)
Your type summary: ENTJ
As a romantic partner, you are inspiring, but also somewhat challenging. You have a strong desire to be in charge and your clear need for an organized life and home can be overwelming to a partner. You like to confront conflict directly, discuss problems unflinchingly, solve them, then put them behind you. However, you can be too impatient or unwilling to take the time to listen to your partner and give them a chance to express themselves fully so that they also have a sense of closure. You are generally uncomfortable dealing with emotions, so you are apt to dismiss your partner's emotions as illogical. You feel most appreciated when your partner asks for your opinions, takes your adivce, and relies on you to get a job done right.
Your group summary: rationals (NT)
Your type summary: ENTJ
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
devastation
i am broken yet not incomplete. my life has been a whirlwind, and from spinning out of control to slowing to something more easily controlled. i have learned to deal with damage control and my life's crazy phases. i have lived and learned. i have broken myself, and then picked back up the pieces. i try my best, to scrape the proverbial mud off the windshield so i can see where i am going. sometimes a wrong turn is made and i must backtrack.
the loneliness never lets you go, and living a life of solitude you are the whim of your imagination. ideas spark, and then die like a bonfire, and your activities are the wood that fuels it. i like that bonfire. give me fuel and i will burn strong and bright. just keep yourself warm by the fire, but dont get too close, or you might get singed, even burned. keep me at the right level with love and attention, but dont over do it. feed the fire that is me.
if only this hailstorm of damage would let up. i could stop trying to protect myself, and actually look at my surroundings, and stop to shoot the shit. i cant. my brakes must be shot, and i cant stop. between working all day and trying to go to school so i can better my life. i dont have the time or the ability to stop, and make something worthwhile to someone. "where are you?" i ask myself. "is it really that hard to meet someone, and to take the time to get to know them?"
i guess so. solitude thou art thy muse.
how can you calm a raging storm, when everything I touch is devastated? the rhythm to my insanity, the beating of my imagination? touchdown has reached this scorched earth, and nothing can stop it. a whirlwind of disaster, and apathy. the ying and yang of apathy and empathy, I cannot control sometimes. a lonely heart have I, beaten and bruised, now healed, and awaiting a gentle hand.
my name is devastation.
the loneliness never lets you go, and living a life of solitude you are the whim of your imagination. ideas spark, and then die like a bonfire, and your activities are the wood that fuels it. i like that bonfire. give me fuel and i will burn strong and bright. just keep yourself warm by the fire, but dont get too close, or you might get singed, even burned. keep me at the right level with love and attention, but dont over do it. feed the fire that is me.
if only this hailstorm of damage would let up. i could stop trying to protect myself, and actually look at my surroundings, and stop to shoot the shit. i cant. my brakes must be shot, and i cant stop. between working all day and trying to go to school so i can better my life. i dont have the time or the ability to stop, and make something worthwhile to someone. "where are you?" i ask myself. "is it really that hard to meet someone, and to take the time to get to know them?"
i guess so. solitude thou art thy muse.
how can you calm a raging storm, when everything I touch is devastated? the rhythm to my insanity, the beating of my imagination? touchdown has reached this scorched earth, and nothing can stop it. a whirlwind of disaster, and apathy. the ying and yang of apathy and empathy, I cannot control sometimes. a lonely heart have I, beaten and bruised, now healed, and awaiting a gentle hand.
my name is devastation.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
yyarrrr
so i just joined Fiction Press. this being my attempt to actually get some good, honest feedback about some of my writings, be they poetry of fiction.
and lo and behold, due to my newbieness, i cant make any posts. im guessing for verification purposes, or to see if i actually visit the site or some such. maybe its something as simple as needing to wait some set about of time until being able to post any material.
laaammme.
i suppose im just antsy to get feeback on my current piece of fiction. it been in deadlock for a bit, and i've just been needing feeback so i know what is goon in it or needs refining. meh. plus, i have a crapload of poetry that anyone out there can read. not that i havent gotten any feeback on it, but where i currently keep my library of works is at deviantart. now dont ge me wrong, im not dishing DA or anything, but its mostly a site for artists, or at leas thats how i mostly see it. not the best place to get feeback on writing i guess. whatever.
so i have a whole library of my stuff out there with a new audience i can reach, and essentially i have to wait approximately 45 more mins till i can "publish" anything on FictionPress.
yea, im a mite antsy you might say.
and lo and behold, due to my newbieness, i cant make any posts. im guessing for verification purposes, or to see if i actually visit the site or some such. maybe its something as simple as needing to wait some set about of time until being able to post any material.
laaammme.
i suppose im just antsy to get feeback on my current piece of fiction. it been in deadlock for a bit, and i've just been needing feeback so i know what is goon in it or needs refining. meh. plus, i have a crapload of poetry that anyone out there can read. not that i havent gotten any feeback on it, but where i currently keep my library of works is at deviantart. now dont ge me wrong, im not dishing DA or anything, but its mostly a site for artists, or at leas thats how i mostly see it. not the best place to get feeback on writing i guess. whatever.
so i have a whole library of my stuff out there with a new audience i can reach, and essentially i have to wait approximately 45 more mins till i can "publish" anything on FictionPress.
yea, im a mite antsy you might say.
Friday, February 27, 2009
show some love
ok som im going to college, and im working towards getting my A+ certification. yay. thats cool and all, but my real passion that has been expanding lately is writing. ive done plently of writing on my own, poetry wise, and coming up with works of fiction that may turn into something. thing isi dont have a degree in english, or any of that broohawhaw.
and im looking around on the great big world wide web, "ok heres a forum for freelance writers. last post earlier this month." i drop a line saying hi. and i repeat the process with several other forums. check in the next day, no new posts. and its the samt thing, with most boards.
okaayyy, what the hell. i mean is nobody these days much of a forum browser? its mostly what im associated with, i make a post about a topic, somebody replies, and then lots of people are in a conversation. is this just not the case for finding out information about writing in general? or is mandatory that you get a college degree first, after having spen your life since you were 5 years old at a keyboard on the net. i mean seriously today's generation is just about hardwired onto the internet.
its so sad, i dont dare call it pathetic, but the fact is that little johnny wants to see his "chiakia pet" grow up. *go to the webite* "chiakia johnny is hungry!" and on and on.
hhmmm, somehow that turned into a rant. well a blog is the place to do it in i suppose. as to the original idea of my post, it was grumblings about why i cant find any active forums for aspiring writers, and it sucks.
and im looking around on the great big world wide web, "ok heres a forum for freelance writers. last post earlier this month." i drop a line saying hi. and i repeat the process with several other forums. check in the next day, no new posts. and its the samt thing, with most boards.
okaayyy, what the hell. i mean is nobody these days much of a forum browser? its mostly what im associated with, i make a post about a topic, somebody replies, and then lots of people are in a conversation. is this just not the case for finding out information about writing in general? or is mandatory that you get a college degree first, after having spen your life since you were 5 years old at a keyboard on the net. i mean seriously today's generation is just about hardwired onto the internet.
its so sad, i dont dare call it pathetic, but the fact is that little johnny wants to see his "chiakia pet" grow up. *go to the webite* "chiakia johnny is hungry!" and on and on.
hhmmm, somehow that turned into a rant. well a blog is the place to do it in i suppose. as to the original idea of my post, it was grumblings about why i cant find any active forums for aspiring writers, and it sucks.
mmmnn hhmmm
so i have my own blog now.
the question is, seeing as this is my first blog, besides a journal that is, what should i "blog" about.
what im interested in, and the daily bs of my life, or subjects that everyone is interested in.
right now it is currently 11:15 and my classes start at noon. thank god HCC is right down the road. then for 5 hours straight in my personal computer repair class. WHOOT! then if my job needs me to come in, i work till 10. funfunfun on a friday night.
the question is, seeing as this is my first blog, besides a journal that is, what should i "blog" about.
what im interested in, and the daily bs of my life, or subjects that everyone is interested in.
right now it is currently 11:15 and my classes start at noon. thank god HCC is right down the road. then for 5 hours straight in my personal computer repair class. WHOOT! then if my job needs me to come in, i work till 10. funfunfun on a friday night.
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