so it seems as though the rest of the world is coming to a realization that i have been aware of for quite some time. and its the fact that normality sucks big time, or at least enough for us to crave some "not normal" thing happening in our lives.
see we love going and seeing movies about documentaries of students getting haunted in the woods, or "Real Life" "Based Upon A True Story" movies about some poor sap, usually a girl getting possessed by some good old evil spirit, Satan included.
please give me a break, stop lying about the supposed "true story" aspect of it. if all those things were real, or rather based upon real events they would have made national headlines, or at least the local news at 10.
my understanding of the whole thing is this. we are bored with our daily lives, and we hate the monotony and day to day repetition. so we get all googely eyed about "hauntings", "possessions", "mutant or superhero powers" and we flock to go see a world that seems to be within our grasp but never was in the first place.
do those things exist? yes. can i prove they do? not really, but if you pay attention to all the stories, about anything relating to paranormal activity see how far back it goes, and how detailed it really is.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
ok internet
so whats the deal? i thought you were supposed to be useful. ya know like when i want to see if somebody i know is on the web somewhere, i should be able to put in their first middle and last and you should show me pages upon pages of dirt for them.
uumm no. see i've tried getting in touch with a certain ex of mine, who also happens to be the mother of my son. and i can put in both of their full names, and not come up with shit. thats bullshit.
anyone have any ideas on why the great big bad web is failing me? i would love the input. and i doubt shes trying to stay off the radar, she wouldnt be able to with wellfare, child expenses and whatnot. very aggravating this is.
uumm no. see i've tried getting in touch with a certain ex of mine, who also happens to be the mother of my son. and i can put in both of their full names, and not come up with shit. thats bullshit.
anyone have any ideas on why the great big bad web is failing me? i would love the input. and i doubt shes trying to stay off the radar, she wouldnt be able to with wellfare, child expenses and whatnot. very aggravating this is.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
exercise is good
last night was sat night, after i dropped off my daughter i headed over to a friends house to exercise and "work out"
it wasnt too bad, we stretched, limbered up and did push ups and a bit of sparring, but no heavy working out with weights like the last time i worked out with em. after that we went jogging. started off with a 1/4 mile run to the local HS, and then their we started at the track, and their intent was to do 20 laps, with i guess equals out to 8 miles.
heh, they were gonna let me off at 5 or 6 miles, but to be perfectly honest, i am out of shape. i was able to get a grand total of 7 or 8 laps out (i dont remember exactly what it was). which means i did between a mil to a 1 1/2 miles. im cool with that. their intent was to do it nonstop the entire 20 laps for an 1 1/2 hours. during my measly 7 or so laps i stopped several times and then ran and caught up again. soo yea i need to get in shape. my current weight in only boxers is 213 lbs. i told myself i would never allow my out of shapeness to get that far and 200 was the line.
on an entire side note to working out, one of my friends recommended how to eat healthy and cheap; rice, chicken, tuna, salad, and some other stuff. he's totally on top of how many calories he eats a day, and all that. i dunno if im ready to go that far yet, but my community college is less than 5 mins away, i think i can drag myself up their late one night to jog the track, and try and push myself.
it wasnt too bad, we stretched, limbered up and did push ups and a bit of sparring, but no heavy working out with weights like the last time i worked out with em. after that we went jogging. started off with a 1/4 mile run to the local HS, and then their we started at the track, and their intent was to do 20 laps, with i guess equals out to 8 miles.
heh, they were gonna let me off at 5 or 6 miles, but to be perfectly honest, i am out of shape. i was able to get a grand total of 7 or 8 laps out (i dont remember exactly what it was). which means i did between a mil to a 1 1/2 miles. im cool with that. their intent was to do it nonstop the entire 20 laps for an 1 1/2 hours. during my measly 7 or so laps i stopped several times and then ran and caught up again. soo yea i need to get in shape. my current weight in only boxers is 213 lbs. i told myself i would never allow my out of shapeness to get that far and 200 was the line.
on an entire side note to working out, one of my friends recommended how to eat healthy and cheap; rice, chicken, tuna, salad, and some other stuff. he's totally on top of how many calories he eats a day, and all that. i dunno if im ready to go that far yet, but my community college is less than 5 mins away, i think i can drag myself up their late one night to jog the track, and try and push myself.
Friday, March 13, 2009
aarrg disaster
*note to self* drinking coffee after a night of boozing, and then having coffee on an empty stomach is a badbadbad thing.
i should be studying
ok i have no idea why im doing this right now, i should be studying for my class i have at noon which includes my first test in it. to be blunt ive been putting it off all week, and got up at 7 for some last min crunch time along with rocket fuel.
yea so the internet is addicting, kind of evil, because of its addictiveness. you go on a site, you get hooked and then its hard to drag yourself away from it.
or at least thats my problem cuz i lead a boring life.
for instance dating sites. im single, havent been laid in 2 years, so im always checking out who lives within a resonable distance from my house, and shares the same interests. you message them and 95% of the time you dont get a message back. sooo annoying.
yea so the internet is addicting, kind of evil, because of its addictiveness. you go on a site, you get hooked and then its hard to drag yourself away from it.
or at least thats my problem cuz i lead a boring life.
for instance dating sites. im single, havent been laid in 2 years, so im always checking out who lives within a resonable distance from my house, and shares the same interests. you message them and 95% of the time you dont get a message back. sooo annoying.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
my personality type
Your result for The LONG Scientific Personality Test...
ENTJ - Commandant
You scored 64% I to E, 26% N to S, 62% F to T, and 42% J to P!
The single word to describe your type is fieldmarshal or commandant. You also belong to the larger group called rationals. You love to organize others in matters of logic. Even as a child, you likely naturally assumed the role of leader in groups. You share your personality type with 2% of the population. When you lead, you are more concerned with policy and goals than rules and regulations. You have a tendency to become a workaholic. You are impatient with repetition of error. You are friendly and outgoing, though. You don't mince words and willingly share your many strong opinions.
As a romantic partner, you are inspiring, but also somewhat challenging. You have a strong desire to be in charge and your clear need for an organized life and home can be overwelming to a partner. You like to confront conflict directly, discuss problems unflinchingly, solve them, then put them behind you. However, you can be too impatient or unwilling to take the time to listen to your partner and give them a chance to express themselves fully so that they also have a sense of closure. You are generally uncomfortable dealing with emotions, so you are apt to dismiss your partner's emotions as illogical. You feel most appreciated when your partner asks for your opinions, takes your adivce, and relies on you to get a job done right.
Your group summary: rationals (NT)
Your type summary: ENTJ
As a romantic partner, you are inspiring, but also somewhat challenging. You have a strong desire to be in charge and your clear need for an organized life and home can be overwelming to a partner. You like to confront conflict directly, discuss problems unflinchingly, solve them, then put them behind you. However, you can be too impatient or unwilling to take the time to listen to your partner and give them a chance to express themselves fully so that they also have a sense of closure. You are generally uncomfortable dealing with emotions, so you are apt to dismiss your partner's emotions as illogical. You feel most appreciated when your partner asks for your opinions, takes your adivce, and relies on you to get a job done right.
Your group summary: rationals (NT)
Your type summary: ENTJ
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
devastation
i am broken yet not incomplete. my life has been a whirlwind, and from spinning out of control to slowing to something more easily controlled. i have learned to deal with damage control and my life's crazy phases. i have lived and learned. i have broken myself, and then picked back up the pieces. i try my best, to scrape the proverbial mud off the windshield so i can see where i am going. sometimes a wrong turn is made and i must backtrack.
the loneliness never lets you go, and living a life of solitude you are the whim of your imagination. ideas spark, and then die like a bonfire, and your activities are the wood that fuels it. i like that bonfire. give me fuel and i will burn strong and bright. just keep yourself warm by the fire, but dont get too close, or you might get singed, even burned. keep me at the right level with love and attention, but dont over do it. feed the fire that is me.
if only this hailstorm of damage would let up. i could stop trying to protect myself, and actually look at my surroundings, and stop to shoot the shit. i cant. my brakes must be shot, and i cant stop. between working all day and trying to go to school so i can better my life. i dont have the time or the ability to stop, and make something worthwhile to someone. "where are you?" i ask myself. "is it really that hard to meet someone, and to take the time to get to know them?"
i guess so. solitude thou art thy muse.
how can you calm a raging storm, when everything I touch is devastated? the rhythm to my insanity, the beating of my imagination? touchdown has reached this scorched earth, and nothing can stop it. a whirlwind of disaster, and apathy. the ying and yang of apathy and empathy, I cannot control sometimes. a lonely heart have I, beaten and bruised, now healed, and awaiting a gentle hand.
my name is devastation.
the loneliness never lets you go, and living a life of solitude you are the whim of your imagination. ideas spark, and then die like a bonfire, and your activities are the wood that fuels it. i like that bonfire. give me fuel and i will burn strong and bright. just keep yourself warm by the fire, but dont get too close, or you might get singed, even burned. keep me at the right level with love and attention, but dont over do it. feed the fire that is me.
if only this hailstorm of damage would let up. i could stop trying to protect myself, and actually look at my surroundings, and stop to shoot the shit. i cant. my brakes must be shot, and i cant stop. between working all day and trying to go to school so i can better my life. i dont have the time or the ability to stop, and make something worthwhile to someone. "where are you?" i ask myself. "is it really that hard to meet someone, and to take the time to get to know them?"
i guess so. solitude thou art thy muse.
how can you calm a raging storm, when everything I touch is devastated? the rhythm to my insanity, the beating of my imagination? touchdown has reached this scorched earth, and nothing can stop it. a whirlwind of disaster, and apathy. the ying and yang of apathy and empathy, I cannot control sometimes. a lonely heart have I, beaten and bruised, now healed, and awaiting a gentle hand.
my name is devastation.
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